Healing From Helplessness

Healing from perpetual helplessness, especially with Complex PTSD (CPTSD), involves reconnecting with our capacity for agency and self-regulation. Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) emphasizes that healing happens through relationships—both with ourselves and others—because we are inherently relational beings. One way to begin addressing helplessness is by recognizing the role of our nervous system in how we experience safety or threat.

Helplessness often arises when our system is overwhelmed, stuck in a state of immobilization or shutdown. The first step is to gently restore a sense of safety, often through small actions that help regulate our system. This might involve practices that support grounding, breath awareness, or simply noticing moments when you feel even slightly more at ease.

Equally important is the role of safe relationships. Feeling understood and supported by others helps shift us out of that helpless state. It’s through connection, whether with trusted friends, support groups, or others who can listen without judgment, that we can begin to feel more empowered. Over time, these safe connections help us develop a deeper sense of internal safety and resilience.

Healing from perpetual helplessness isn’t a quick fix but a process of building internal resources and gradually regaining a sense of control over your life. Compassionate relationships and practices that help regulate your nervous system are key in that journey.

About Shay Seaborne, CPTSD

Shay Seaborne CPTSD teaches Relational Neuroscience for stress reduction, trauma recovery, and community building. Shay has studied the neurobiology of fear / trauma /PTSD since 2014 and Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) since 2019. They write, speak, teach, and make art to convey their experiences as well as their understanding of the neurobiology of fear, trauma theory, Interpersonal Neurobiology concepts, and principles of trauma recovery. A native of Northern Virginia, Shay settled in Delaware to sail KALMAR NYCKEL, the state’s tall ship. But once they finally had mental health insurance, their life rapidly changed. The standard treatment for PTSD nearly killed them. The psychiatric abuse began a cascade of negative medical encounters that repeatedly caused additional harm and the development of severe Medical PTSD. Shay wishes everyone could recognize that "mental health problems" are symptoms of dysregulation, our mainstream culture is neuro-negative, and we can heal ourselves and each other through awareness, understanding, and safe connection.
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