Healing From Helplessness

Healing from perpetual helplessness, especially with Complex PTSD (CPTSD), involves reconnecting with our capacity for agency and self-regulation. Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) emphasizes that healing happens through relationships—both with ourselves and others—because we are inherently relational beings. One way to begin addressing helplessness is by recognizing the role of our nervous system in how we experience safety or threat.

Helplessness often arises when our system is overwhelmed, stuck in a state of immobilization or shutdown. The first step is to gently restore a sense of safety, often through small actions that help regulate our system. This might involve practices that support grounding, breath awareness, or simply noticing moments when you feel even slightly more at ease.

Equally important is the role of safe relationships. Feeling understood and supported by others helps shift us out of that helpless state. It’s through connection, whether with trusted friends, support groups, or others who can listen without judgment, that we can begin to feel more empowered. Over time, these safe connections help us develop a deeper sense of internal safety and resilience.

Healing from perpetual helplessness isn’t a quick fix but a process of building internal resources and gradually regaining a sense of control over your life. Compassionate relationships and practices that help regulate your nervous system are key in that journey.

About Shay Seaborne, CPTSD

Former tall ship sailor turned trauma awareness activist-artist Shay Seaborne, CPTSD has studied the neurobiology of fear / trauma /PTSD since 2015. She writes, speaks, teaches, and makes art to convey her experiences as well as her understanding of the neurobiology of fear, trauma theory, and principles of trauma recovery. A native of Northern Virginia, Shay settled in Delaware to sail KALMAR NYCKEL, the state’s tall ship. She wishes everyone could recognize PTSD is not a mental health problem, but a neurophysiological condition rooted in dysregulation, our mainstream culture is neuro-negative, and we need to understand we can heal ourselves and each other through awareness, understanding, and safe connection.
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