People often say “healing is not linear,” but this doesn’t capture the truth of it. Healing is really a series of expansions and contractions. First there’s an expansion, then there’s a contraction, then another expansion. And when we are in a contraction it’s naturally and normally very hard to see the positive things. When we have to struggle so hard they are like luxuries to our nervous system. We can’t afford them.

Knowing this can help ease the distress during a contraction and help us give ourselves more grace, self-compassion, and empathy. That can help relieve some of the difficulties of the contraction and perhaps help us move more easily toward the next expansion. In the past 6 years there have been many times when I was so goddamn tired of struggling and felt like giving up, like there was no hope. Sometimes I let myself have a 15 minute pity party, and that was always good. Crying is good for the nervous system. Having had that cleanse, then I could refocus on my commitment to my neuroscience-based healing framework, and trust that if I kept doing as much as I could to support my nervous system, things would shift, and they did.

We are all naturally and normally oriented toward health/well-being/integration / homeostasis. Hold fast to your vision and commitment and do what you can to create a supportive and safe environment, and your quality of life will certainly improve. #TraumaAwareAmerica