Safe relationships are vital to trauma recovery and general well-being. For many, the idea of forming safe and supportive relationships seems daunting, especially if they don’t have anyone in their life they can truly rely on. But building these connections isn’t impossible, even when starting from scratch. You can create a sense of safety and connection by taking small, intentional steps.
One of the easiest starting points is interacting with people in low-pressure environments. Even casual encounters, like chatting briefly with a store clerk or saying hello to a neighbor, can slowly build your confidence and help establish a feeling of safety around others. While these interactions may seem superficial, they serve as valuable stepping stones toward creating deeper relationships.
During the pandemic, I found social media, particularly platforms like Facebook, offered me a way to connect with others when in-person interactions weren’t available. In online forums or communities, the pressure of face-to-face contact is removed, which can make it easier for some people to open up and find a sense of belonging. These smaller, less personal interactions may be enough to plant the seeds for feeling safer around others.
As you begin to engage in these small interactions, it’s equally important to practice self-regulation techniques, such as mindfulness and grounding practices (I highly recommend BodyIntelligence). These can also support the individual in managing arousal states and feeling more secure in social interactions. Combining these approaches may help them navigate the path to healthier relationships while continuing to work on nervous system regulation. Even when the outside world feels chaotic or unsafe, learning to calm your nervous system can help you stay anchored and confident, making it easier to engage with others.
Start with what feels most manageable, like brief exchanges with strangers, commenting on posts in online groups, or attending virtual events. Over time, these interactions can grow into more meaningful connections. You may find that your capacity for trust expands as you continue to practice.
It’s important to acknowledge that the sense of safety doesn’t happen overnight. Relationships, even those that start small, take time to develop. Be patient with yourself in this process. You’re not aiming to build deep relationships immediately but to create small moments of connection that can foster a greater sense of safety and belonging.
Remember, safety starts with you, and your efforts to regulate your nervous system and engage with the world around you will gradually open the door to more secure, supportive connections. Whether through online communities, brief in-person interactions, or self-regulation practices, the path to connection is available even to those who feel isolated. It’s about taking those small steps and giving yourself permission to start where you are.
This post includes content generated by ChatGPT, a language model developed by OpenAI. The AI-generated content has been reviewed and edited for accuracy and relevance.
