Autism Doesn’t Destroy Families. The Domination Hierarchy Does

When Robert F. Kennedy Jr. says things like “autism destroys families,” or implies that people who don’t pay taxes or hold traditional jobs are somehow less valuable, he is reflecting a worldview that has little to do with science or human dignity.

It’s a view rooted in domination hierarchies, systems that rank human worth based on productivity, conformity, and perceived utility. From an Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) perspective, this kind of thinking is not just inaccurate; it’s harmful to our collective nervous systems.

Autism doesn’t destroy families. What destroys families is living under constant pressure to perform, to fit in, to “succeed” by narrow standards that ignore the diversity of human experience. What tears at the fabric of relationships and well-being is a culture that dismisses people who communicate, relate, or process the world differently. It’s the chronic stress of being told, implicitly or explicitly, that your existence is a problem to be solved.

Our nervous systems are built for connection, for being seen, supported, and valued as we are. When children grow up in environments that affirm their worth, that protect them from shame and exclusion, their brains and bodies can thrive—even if their path doesn’t look like someone else’s idea of “normal.” Families are strongest when they’re supported, not judged.

When resources, community, and compassion are abundant, not withheld based on diagnostic labels or tax brackets.

And if paying taxes is a measure of value, then billionaires who avoid taxes must be worthless. But of course that’s not the story we’re told. The story we’re fed is that worth is tied to wealth and conformity, and that anyone who falls outside that frame is a burden. That story is not only untrue, it’s anti-human.

The truth is this: no one’s value comes from how well they perform capitalism. Value is intrinsic. Every nervous system, every person, belongs. It’s domination systems—systems that divide, degrade, and dehumanize—that destroy families, not neurodivergent kids.

Let’s stop pathologizing difference and start dismantling the structures that make anyone feel unworthy of love, care, or dignity. We don’t need more control. We need more connection.

About Shay Seaborne, CPTSD

Former tall ship sailor turned trauma awareness activist-artist Shay Seaborne, CPTSD has studied the neurobiology of fear / trauma /PTSD since 2015. She writes, speaks, teaches, and makes art to convey her experiences as well as her understanding of the neurobiology of fear, trauma theory, and principles of trauma recovery. A native of Northern Virginia, Shay settled in Delaware to sail KALMAR NYCKEL, the state’s tall ship. She wishes everyone could recognize PTSD is not a mental health problem, but a neurophysiological condition rooted in dysregulation, our mainstream culture is neuro-negative, and we need to understand we can heal ourselves and each other through awareness, understanding, and safe connection.
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