Social media abounds with admonitions that “You are responsible for your healing,” as if well-being is an individual choice and lack of it is a character flaw. From an Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) perspective, healing is about understanding how our experiences, especially in early relationships, shaped the development of our nervous system, sense of safety, patterns of connection, and responses to stress. Recognizing this helps us interrupt cycles of harm for ourselves and those around us.
Responsibility is not about shouldering the burden alone or “fixing” ourselves. It’s about engaging in a process that honors what happened to us and what we need now to move toward regulation, connection, and integration. This process often requires co-regulation, safe relationships, and environments that support healing. In IPNB, healing is seen as a relational and embodied journey that we undertake not just for ourselves but to shape a brighter future.
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About Shay Seaborne, CPTSD
Shay Seaborne CPTSD teaches Relational Neuroscience for stress reduction, trauma recovery, and community building. Shay has studied the neurobiology of fear / trauma /PTSD since 2014 and Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) since 2019. They write, speak, teach, and make art to convey their experiences as well as their understanding of the neurobiology of fear, trauma theory, Interpersonal Neurobiology concepts, and principles of trauma recovery. A native of Northern Virginia, Shay settled in Delaware to sail KALMAR NYCKEL, the state’s tall ship. But once they finally had mental health insurance, their life rapidly changed. The standard treatment for PTSD nearly killed them. The psychiatric abuse began a cascade of negative medical encounters that repeatedly caused additional harm and the development of severe Medical PTSD.
Shay wishes everyone could recognize that "mental health problems" are symptoms of dysregulation, our mainstream culture is neuro-negative, and we can heal ourselves and each other through awareness, understanding, and safe connection.
