Social media abounds with admonitions that “You are responsible for your healing,” as if well-being is an individual choice and lack of it is a character flaw. From an Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) perspective, healing is about understanding how our experiences, especially in early relationships, shaped the development of our nervous system, sense of safety, patterns of connection, and responses to stress. Recognizing this helps us interrupt cycles of harm for ourselves and those around us.

Responsibility is not about shouldering the burden alone or “fixing” ourselves. It’s about engaging in a process that honors what happened to us and what we need now to move toward regulation, connection, and integration. This process often requires co-regulation, safe relationships, and environments that support healing. In IPNB, healing is seen as a relational and embodied journey that we undertake not just for ourselves but to shape a brighter future.