If psychiatry were a human being and we used its own Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) to diagnose its behavior, here’s what might show up on the chart:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (301.81)

Criteria met? Oh, absolutely. Psychiatry displays:

• A grandiose sense of its importance (“We alone define and treat mental illness”)
• Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance
• Belief that it is special and can only be understood by other “elite” medical professionals
• A strong sense of entitlement (e.g., unquestioned authority in courtrooms, institutions, and policy)
• Interpersonal exploitation—using people’s pain to maintain its own power and profit
• Lack of empathy: repeated dismissal of the harm it causes to patients, survivors, and whistleblowers
• Envy of actual healing communities, and a need to undermine them
• Arrogant behaviors and attitudes disguised as medical authority

Antisocial Personality Disorder (301.7)

Yep, there’s a case to be made:

•  Repeated violation of others’ rights (coercive treatment, forced drugging, involuntary holds)
•  Deceitfulness (promoting chemical imbalance theories long after discredited)
•  Impulsivity (rapid reclassification of disorders to suit billing or control needs)
•  Reckless disregard for the safety of others (downplaying long-term effects of psychiatric drugs)
•  Lack of remorse (see: gaslighting survivors for decades)

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (301.4)

Might as well throw this in too:

• Preoccupied with order, lists (hello DSM!)
• Perfectionism that interferes with flexibility (rigid diagnostic frameworks over lived experience)
• Inflexibility around morality and rules, as long as it writes them
• Reluctance to delegate unless others submit to “the system”

Delusional Disorder, Grandiose Type (297.1)

Persistent belief in its own greatness despite overwhelming evidence of harm and ineffectiveness? Check.

Of course, this is tongue-in-cheek, but it makes a serious point. If we evaluated psychiatry by its standards–symptoms without context, behaviors without relationship–it would look profoundly disturbed. But we won’t do that, because from an IPNB perspective, even psychiatry has a survival story: a system terrified of losing control, trying to secure its place by clinging to power instead of stepping into humility and relationship.

Still, turning the diagnostic gaze back on itself is poetic justice.