A whiteboard at a local gym promotes the idea that “growth only happens outside the comfort zone,” which is popular in our “push through” culture. Stagnation can happen when there’s no challenge and no novelty. But if pushed too far, the nervous system moves into defense rather than learning.
Growth is most possible when a system has enough safety and stability to stretch without tipping into overwhelm. So, the real zone of growth is within the window of tolerance, where there’s both safety and just enough stress to activate curiosity and adaptation.
Growth doesn’t come from leaving comfort behind, but from expanding comfort through repeated experiences of safety in the presence of challenge.
“Sweet discomfort” describes that edge where the nervous system feels the stretch but still senses safety. It’s the space where new experiences can be integrated instead of being rejected as a threat. There’s tension, maybe unease, but it’s held inside a sense of connection and choice.
From an Interpersonal Neurobiology view, this is the zone where regulation and learning meet. The discomfort signals growth in progress, and the “sweet” part means the system trusts it can handle the moment. When we have enough relational support, that stretch becomes transformative instead of traumatic.
Former tall ship sailor turned trauma awareness activist-artist Shay Seaborne, CPTSD has studied the neurobiology of fear / trauma /PTSD since 2015. She writes, speaks, teaches, and makes art to convey her experiences as well as her understanding of the neurobiology of fear, trauma theory, and principles of trauma recovery. A native of Northern Virginia, Shay settled in Delaware to sail KALMAR NYCKEL, the state’s tall ship. She wishes everyone could recognize PTSD is not a mental health problem, but a neurophysiological condition rooted in dysregulation, our mainstream culture is neuro-negative, and we need to understand we can heal ourselves and each other through awareness, understanding, and safe connection.
