A recent visit with a new healthcare practitioner had a significantly negative impact. She was so out of sorts that she could not appropriately connect. That meant she could not take in what I said or understand what I needed. Instead, she spewed a torrent of of information that was inappropriate and triggering. Therefore, it was harmful.
It was also harmful that I was unheard and unseen. That’s the condition that allows for abuse. Even though this practitioner wasn’t abusive, her behavior was harmful. Because it evoked the same conditions under which prior abuse occurred again and again.
When safety, resonance, or connection are missing, the nervous system adapts by fragmenting or narrowing its flow. This looks like “The Distortions of the Life Force” NARM chart. In IPNB language, the system becomes less flexible, less coherent, less energized, and less stable.
Encounters like that land in the nervous system as a threat. Without support, the body can stay stuck in survival states like fight, flight, or freeze.
I integrate a lot on my own, but I also need the kind of relational support I get from my practitioners to fully come back into balance.
Understanding Interpersonal Neurobiology helps me recognize what happens between me and my practitioners. When someone meets me with compassionate witnessing and attunement, they are offering what Dr. Dan Siegel calls resonance. Their nervous system is sending out cues of safety, like a steady tone of voice, calm presence, and facial expressions that say “I see you and I believe you.” My nervous system detects these signals and begins to downshift the defensive response. It’s not just emotional comfort; it’s biological regulation.
Two days later, I was able to process the experience with my NARM therapist. A day after that, I talked with my craniosacral practitioner, who is especially attuned. Each of those conversations wasn’t about fixing or erasing what happened, but about helping my body metabolize the impact. Each moment of connection gave my system what it needed to integrate and restore resilience.
Without this support framework, I’d be in real trouble after a visit like that. With it, I can return to balance and even deepen my trust in the way safe connection restores us. This is the neurobiology of resilience in action: we aren’t meant to recover in isolation; our systems are designed to heal in connection.
