The idea that “healing means taking responsibility for your role in your suffering” comes from a pathologizing and shame-based perspective.
From an Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) perspective, the idea that individuals are responsible for their suffering is indeed problematic and overly simplistic.Suffering often arises from complex interactions between biological, psychological, and social factors.
Trauma, chronic stress, and adverse life experiences can all contribute to suffering in ways that are beyond an individual’s control.The nervous system’s response to trauma and stress is largely involuntary. Reactions such as hypervigilance, dissociation, or chronic anxiety are automatic and not something a person chooses.
Blaming individuals for these responses disregards the science of how our bodies and brains react to harm.Suffering is significantly influenced by the environment and relationships. Factors such as social support, community resources, and systemic oppression play crucial roles in shaping an individual’s experiences. It’s unfair to place the burden of responsibility on individuals when these external factors are at play.
Suggesting that people are responsible for their suffering can induce shame and self-blame, which are counterproductive to healing. Compassionate, empathetic approaches that acknowledge the broader context of an individual’s experience are more effective in fostering recovery.Healing is best facilitated through supportive relationships and environments that help individuals navigate their challenges.
Rather than focusing solely on personal responsibility, we should emphasize the importance of community, empathy, and understanding in the healing process.
