Trauma is the Problem. Connection is the Solution.

I have spent the last 6.5 years largely treating Complex PTSD myself due to lack of access to appropriate level care. This includes from a Somatic Experiencing psychologist whose bandwidth turned out to be too narrow for my somatic experience!

If she couldn’t even help me who could? She told me I should not process outside of session, yet, she repeatedly allowed her own process to thwart mine. Can you imagine being told “don’t process outside of session”, while being blocked from processing in session? Yes, I fired her.

I do have an excellent NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) therapist, too, but I pay out of pocket so I can’t always afford it. Therefore, I work mostly alone and with friends. Because I’ve learned our nervous systems evolved to help ourselves and each other achieve and maintain homeostasis/well-being/health/mental health through safe connections with each other.

Instead of trying to rely on the behavioral health industry, which supports the domination hierarchy and has caused me such additional harm that, likely, I won’t ever recover, I focus on creating safe connections around me and within me. When trauma is the problem, safe connections are the solution.

About Shay Seaborne, CPTSD

Shay Seaborne CPTSD teaches Relational Neuroscience for stress reduction, trauma recovery, and community building. Shay has studied the neurobiology of fear / trauma /PTSD since 2014 and Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) since 2019. They write, speak, teach, and make art to convey their experiences as well as their understanding of the neurobiology of fear, trauma theory, Interpersonal Neurobiology concepts, and principles of trauma recovery. A native of Northern Virginia, Shay settled in Delaware to sail KALMAR NYCKEL, the state’s tall ship. But once they finally had mental health insurance, their life rapidly changed. The standard treatment for PTSD nearly killed them. The psychiatric abuse began a cascade of negative medical encounters that repeatedly caused additional harm and the development of severe Medical PTSD. Shay wishes everyone could recognize that "mental health problems" are symptoms of dysregulation, our mainstream culture is neuro-negative, and we can heal ourselves and each other through awareness, understanding, and safe connection.

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