Tag Archives: safety

Why Chronic Pain is So Exhausting

People often think of pain as something you should be able to push through if you’re determined enough. That isn’t how recurrent pain works. When my pain is high, it changes everything. My attention is pulled toward it because my … Continue reading

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Safety, Connection, Belonging, and Well-Being

From an Interpersonal Neurobiology perspective, safety, connection, belonging, and well-being are not separate experiences, but interdependent processes that continuously shape one another. Safety is the foundation. When our nervous system detects enough predictability, responsiveness, and choice, it becomes possible to … Continue reading

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Grief Moves When the Body Is Allowed: Trauma Integration and the Power of Witnessing 

I went into my craniosacral appointment without an agenda, not trying to make anything happen. I laid on the treatment table and my doctor cradled my head with his hands. Before long, I felt a huge wave of deep grief rise … Continue reading

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Letter to a Now Former Friend 

One of the hardest things about trauma recovery is the process of recognizing which relationships are mutual and supportive and letting go of those that are not. I’ve done this over the course of years, particularly with family members, most … Continue reading

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The Doctors in My Recovery Plan

Many people have trouble believing that caring doctors became an essential part of my Interpersonal Neurobiology-based trauma recovery plan. Some dismiss it entirely because they assume healing relationships have to happen with family, friends, a romantic partner, or a therapist. … Continue reading

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The Problem With Functional Medicine

Functional medicine presents itself as a more complete approach to health, but, like mainstream medical treatments, it focuses on individual physiology and treats the body as the primary site of explanation and intervention. Distress is framed as the result of … Continue reading

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“How Would You Like to Proceed?”: The Role of Agency in Safe Medicine

A recent visit to my dermatologist inspired me to write about the relationship between safety and agency. We’d already had four appointments before this visit. She always asked permission before touching me. Every time, she explained what she was doing … Continue reading

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Bystander Complicity: An IPNB View

From an Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) perspective, the nervous system operates relationally, meaning that safety, trust, and connection are deeply shaped by social environments and relationships. Bystanders who witness abuse but fail to intervene may experience internal conflicts between their own … Continue reading

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Noticing Safety in the Small Moments We Overlook

Walking home from the community garden, I saw a young man coming toward me on my street. It was Independence Day weekend and there was a local event happening nearby, so there were more people around than usual, including people … Continue reading

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Beyond Credentials: The Non-Negotiable Key to My Recovery

I had a years-long period when my functionality was so low that it was hard for me to leave the house. I was severely isolated by disability from repeated medical harm. My relationships with practitioners became my default primary social … Continue reading

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