The dynamic between the predator and the victim involves complex layers of relational manipulation, nervous system responses, and emotional regulation (or dysregulation), which deeply affect both the predator’s and the victim’s neurobiological processes. Through the lens of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), here is what happens in their brains and bodies.
How the Predator Acts:
- Fake Niceness: Predators often pretend to be kind and trustworthy at first. They do this to make the victim feel safe, even though the predator plans to hurt them.
- Calculated Moves: They’re strategic about how they do this, carefully planning their actions to get what they want. They might even feel a thrill or excitement from controlling someone.
- No Empathy: Predators usually don’t feel bad for their victims. It’s like the part of their brain that helps them understand others’ feelings is turned off.
- Gets Pumped Up: When they’re about to hurt someone, their body can become really energized, like they’re in a “fight or flight” mode, but it’s used for dominating.
- Justifying Actions: They might tell themselves that the victim “deserved it” or that what they did wasn’t a big deal, so they don’t have to feel bad about themselves.
- Wants Control, Not Connection: Predators don’t want a healthy give-and-take. They want to be in charge, and seeing the victim upset helps them feel more powerful.
What the Victim Goes Through:
- Tricked into Safety: The predator’s initial kindness makes the victim’s brain feel safe and connected.
- Shock and Betrayal: When the predator finally shows their true colors, it’s a massive shock. The victim’s brain, which was fooled into thinking it was safe, suddenly realizes it’s in danger. This causes huge confusion and a feeling of being completely betrayed.
- Survival Mode: The victim’s body might suddenly shift into “fight, flight, or freeze” mode. It’s disorienting because they thought they were safe. Sometimes, they shut down completely to cope with the overwhelming fear.
- Trouble with Trust: After this, it becomes difficult for the victim to trust anyone, even people who seem nice. Their brain has learned that being trusting can lead to harm.
- Confused and Scared: Victims often struggle to understand how someone who seemed to care could be so cruel. This deep confusion messes with their ability to manage their emotions and memories of the event.
The Relationship Itself:
- Hijacked Support: In healthy relationships, people help each other feel calm and supported. Predators fake this at first, but then they deliberately mess with the victim’s emotions to gain control.
- Broken Trust: The betrayal leaves a deep scar. The victim’s brain gets a message: “Don’t trust people who seem safe.”
- Uneven Power: Predators use the victim’s desire for connection against them, creating a truly unequal and harmful relationship.
Long-Term Effects on the Victim:
- Always on Alert: The victim’s brain stays in a state of high alert, constantly looking for danger. This can lead to ongoing stress, anxiety, and other problems like Complex PTSD. They may also experience the onset of chronic health conditions and recurrent pain.
- Hard to Form New Bonds: Because their sense of safety has been shattered, it’s challenging for victims to form new, healthy relationships. Even good people might accidentally trigger their fear.
What Happens When Abusers Are Not Held Accountable:
- Abuser Grows Bolder: If a predator faces no punishment, they feel more powerful and are more likely to keep hurting others, often getting worse over time. They believe they can get away with anything.
- Victim’s Trauma Worsens: For the victim, the lack of justice makes everything much worse. They feel helpless, betrayed by the system, and like the danger is always present. Their body stays stuck in survival mode.
- Loss of Trust in Everything: The victim loses faith in people and in the systems (like laws or healthcare) that are supposed to protect them. This makes them feel isolated and alone.
- Abusers Avoid Their Pain: Predators often have past trauma or shame. By hurting others and getting away with it, they avoid facing their pain. This is a temporary fix that drives them to repeat the harmful.
- Society Suffers: When abusers aren’t stopped, it creates a general atmosphere of fear and distrust in society. It can normalize exploitation and violence, harming everyone’s mental and physical health, and even affecting future generations.
Special Case: Medical Betrayal Trauma:
- Ultimate Betrayal: When a healthcare professional abuses a patient it’s incredibly damaging. This person was supposed to heal, not harm.
- System Failure: If the legal system then says, “just hope the next doctor is better,” it’s a huge betrayal. It tells the victim they have no control or justice, and it tells the abuser that their actions are tolerated.
- Devastating Impact: This kind of betrayal makes the victim’s existing trauma much worse, leading to severe mental and physical health issues and a complete loss of trust in medical care. It normalizes violence and leaves victims feeling utterly powerless.
Predatory behavior deeply affects the brains and bodies of both the abuser and the victim, leading to lasting trauma. When abusers aren’t held responsible, these problems grow even worse for everyone involved and for society as a whole.
