I’ve always called it “Fun & Magic,” or “collaborating with the universe.” It’s that moment when all the groundwork has been laid, the relationships are built, the connections are made, and something big responds to a disruptor. It’s when your body knows, your mind is clear, and your presence in the world is exactly what’s needed.
In 2005, homeschoolers in Prince William County, Virginia, were in the midst of a lengthy and deliberate effort to improve the school division’s regulations. This included negotiating with the school board to remove what I called the “approval before removal” clause, which was beyond state law. The clause imposed a 3-day waiting period that stressed parents who withdrew their children from school to begin homeschooling. Months of goodwill and bridge-building had gone into this work.
Then, at the last minute, the noxious Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) swooped in, pounding the table. Without consulting local homeschoolers, HSLDA threatened to preserve the old, punitive rule. They didn’t like that a policy was changed without their prior approval, as they act like they own homeschooling. In response, the board chair–who disapproved of homeschooling–had the corrected regulation removed from the consent agenda. It was a disruptor moment, one that could have erased all the work we had done.
But because I had been authentic and kind toward the school board clerk, treating her like a human being, she called to inform me the item had been removed from the agenda and asked if I still wanted to speak during Citizens’ Time. That tip-off set the stage for what would become a real victory. Because of the relationships I had built with the clerk, a key board member, and across the board, my team and I were able to respond strategically.
One member of our grassroots coalition engaged the HSLDA lawyer in a way he thought was aligned with the organization’s agenda. But she was actually just managing him, and ultimately, we revealed that they had grossly underestimated our little group of homeschool moms.
When the board chair discovered the item had been put back on the agenda for discussion, her reaction, “WHAT? WHAT? NO WAY! NO WAY!” was priceless. And yes, it was recorded. And I received two copies.
Almost the entire board supported the idea proposed by the board member who worked with me: default to the prior regulation, and work out any issues later. Only the chair and her one loyal follower voted against. The HSLDA lawyer was exposed as a disruptor, and some board members laughed with us afterward in the parking lot. One even said that as soon as the lawyer started talking, “My inner voice said, ‘weasel!’”
From an Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) perspective, this is exactly how “Fun & Magic” works. It isn’t mystical, but a product of nervous systems, minds, and relationships all operating in resonance.
When you’ve laid the groundwork, built trust, and created safety, your body and mind can notice subtle cues, act strategically, and flow in ways that feel effortless. Your nervous system experiences regulation, your creativity is free, and your actions align with your purpose. That day in 2005 was a regulatory victory, and a demonstration of embodied intelligence, relational attunement, and flow in action.
The joy I felt wasn’t only because we trounced HSLDA again; it was rooted in the experience of operating in alignment: clever, focused, inclusive, and deeply human. That is what I’ve long called “Fun & Magic.” It happens when preparation meets opportunity, when relationships matter more than hierarchy, and when the nervous system feels safe enough to act fully in the world.
It was the best possible use of who I am, and it shows what’s possible when connection, courage, and strategic thinking come together.
