I was triggered in class, which happens periodically. It happened at my nervous system’s speed. I chose to make the potentially triggering movement. Maybe I chose it because some part of me knew I needed to do this work.
The movement activated the terror and grief in my abdomen. I teared up. For a second I felt like I might fall apart. But, because everyone else around me–all the other nervous systems–were in sync with each other, making the beautiful slow flowy movements that invite safe embodiment, I was able to come back to a similar state without much effort. I just needed to attune to the other nervous systems and bodies in the room so mine could come back to the present.
In that sequence, my system touched into a bit of unresolved traumatic material, integrated it, and was able to come back toward balance with the support of the balanced nervous systems of those around me. Four people. Four other nervous systems can have a powerful influence on a nervous system that has been overwhelmed.
This experience also reminded me of the relationship between empathy, safety, and a balanced nervous system.
When people respond with empathy after we have been overwhelmed, they are communicating that they believe something happened to us that we did not deserve and that we deserve care. That kind of response can provide relational safety.
When people respond without empathy, the response may be experienced as judgmental. Even what someone considers a neutral response can have a very different neurophysiological meaning for the person receiving it. If the person understands that they are not believed, not cared for, or not taken seriously, their nervous system has less information that the environment is safe.
The body does not need the source of threat to be a lion for the experience of unsafety to matter. It can be a dismissive healthcare practitioner, an overwhelmed parent, or another person who does not recognize what is happening.
The relational environment matters because our nervous systems continually respond to the nervous systems around us.
That is what I experienced in that Qigong class. I was overwhelmed, and four other people were there, moving slowly and steadily together. I attuned to them. Their presence gave my nervous system something to join in collective safety. It feels like magic, but it’s Interpersonal Neurobiology.
