Unless referring to the machinations of narcissists, who victimize others and pretend they’re the victims, “victim mentality” is a term coined and used by those who actually want to blame the victimized for speaking up about their abuse experience.

This is promulgated by those, who, instead of putting their hand up and saying “stop” leave it up to the victims themselves to cope with whatever devastation they’ve met. If they somehow can’t get over it or put it behind them at the speed and quantity that the domination culture insists is normal, when it’s actually extremely inhumane, inhuman, and neuronegative for living creatures. If we don’t match that insane cruel standard then there’s something wrong with us. We are deemed deficient in character, will, or we “don’t want to get better,” all pathologizing lies. 

Too often, “victim mentality” is a term coined and used by those who actually want to blame the victimized for speaking up about their abuse experience.

A victim isn’t the one who stands up and says “Hey! I was victimized, these people hurt me, and I’m pissed off and sad and hurt and I need help to recover.”   

The real victim mentality exemplified by the one who says “I shall forgive and forget and move on, pretending nothing’s wrong.” They enable abusers and even predators to keep doing what they do. Every one of them has got away with it for so long because of people who “just let it go.”

I don’t blame or judge victims if they don’t speak up. That’s not my place and it would be immoral. I understand if they try to forget and don’t have the resources. 

Ours is a culture that says it’s okay for abusers to do what they want, most often to the most vulnerable and least resourced victims, and if survivors have a problem with it they must have a “victim mentality” so they are the problem, especially if they exhibit signs of so-called mental illness, which are actually symptoms impeded integration. 

Banish the term!

#TraumaAwareAmeri