Author Archives: Shay Seaborne, CPTSD
Why I Quit Therapy
Over 6.5 years, I was traumatized by 13 therapists. Even the intake, first session, and attempt to explain my history put my nervous system back into the same defensive state. In session, I frequently encountered misattunement that prompted their disbelief, … Continue reading
When the Boss Plays Mind Games: A Case Study in Blame, Power, and Gaslighting
About 15 years ago, I left one of only two jobs I ever had that offered a living wage and benefits. I didn’t choose to leave. My boss had a political agenda, and I became a target. I was the … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse
Tagged district supervisor, employment, Fairfax County VA, gaslighting, mind games, political favor, Supervisor, truth, verbal abuse, Virginia, work
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Can Trauma Survivors Recover Without Access to Professional Help?
According to a 2021 study, “most states have fewer than 40% of the mental health professionals needed” and “more than half (51%) of counties in the United States have no practicing psychiatrists.” Even where mental illness industry practitioners exist, many … Continue reading
Posted in PTSD, Trauma
Tagged Complex PTSD, CPTSD, Medicine, Mental Health, Nervous System, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychology, PTSD, Regulation, Trauma
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Secrecy and Stability: The Super Enablers at My Father’s Memorial
At my father’s memorial in 2019, the family dynamics were easy to see. Most people did not want to talk to me. They showed it through distance, short answers, or simply not engaging. My sister’s behavior was openly hostile. Her … Continue reading
Posted in Family, IPNB of Hierarchy
Tagged enablers, family, family hierarchy, family secrets, funeral, IPNB, narrative control, Relational Neuroscience, super enablers
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Cues of Safety: Why Connection is Non-Negotiable in Healthcare
Cues of safety are signals we give each other that tell our nervous systems we are safe with one another. When we feel pro-social and safe enough to be authentic and truly connect, we naturally give off these cues, which … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged chronic disease, chronic illness, connection, Doctor, Empathy, healthcare, Medicine, practitioner, PTSD, safety
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Outsourcing to Angels: Faith as Deferral Instead of Action
Recently, I met someone who told me that the political turmoil of today is okay according to the angels. They say it’s just cleaning out the bad stuff. She also said that angels don’t work on our timeline, so we … Continue reading
Posted in Systems
Tagged Angels, fate, interpersonal neurobiology, IPNB, Relational Neuroscience, spirituality
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Medical Metrics: Numbers that Mask Suffering and Protect Power
When the Social Security Disability judge made the final decision about my case, she noted that “there is nothing in the record that shows all that trauma affects your ability to work.” She insisted that I could work full-time in … Continue reading
Posted in Healthcare
Tagged cholesterol, health, hierarchy, measurements, medical records, Medicine, metrics, pathocracy, records, Trauma, trauma denial, weight
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Creating Safety in a Culture That Profits from Harm
For the eight years since my connections were severed by psychiatric and medical abuse, I have been building conditions that allow my nervous system to recover. What it has needed is attunement, compassionate witnessing, empathy, validation of my lived experience, … Continue reading
Science Over Slogans: What Daniel Amen Gets Wrong About Anxiety
In a video clip, Daniel G. Amen, M.D., shares what he calls “One of my favorite strategies to combat anxiousness” and refers to “killing” what he calls “ANTS,” his acronym for “Automatic Negative Thoughts that steal your happiness.” Amen advises … Continue reading
Posted in Mental Health
Tagged anxiety, change, Daniel Amen, IPNB, science, thinking, thoughts
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The IPNB of Masking: How the Nervous System Prioritizes Belonging Over Authenticity
Masking behavior, or social camouflaging,, is the conscious or subconscious suppression of one’s natural personality, emotions, or neurodivergent traits to conform to social norms, fit in, or avoid judgment. It is commonly used by autistic individuals, those with ADHD, or … Continue reading
Posted in Mental Health
Tagged authenticity, IPNB, masking, performing, protection, safety, social camouflaging, survival adaptations
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