Author Archives: Shay Seaborne, CPTSD
“You Can’t Count on Anything”: The Birthday Dinner I Never Forgot
On my twenty-fifth birthday, my father took me out to dinner, just the two of us. That had never happened before. He insisted I order the Oysters Rockefeller. I had never had them. They were incredible. I remember sitting there … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse
Tagged abuse, birthday, family, family dynamics, father, gaslighting, gift, manipulation, relationship
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“Isn’t That How It Works?”
One of my doctors was telling me about his path into medicine. He attended a highly prestigious private school. He went on to say that there, he met a mentor who connected him with someone at Georgetown University. That relationship … Continue reading
Posted in Relationships
Tagged development, environment, mentors, network, opportunities, private school, privilege, stability, support
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“How Would You Like to Proceed?”: The Role of Agency in Safe Medicine
A recent visit to my dermatologist inspired me to write about the relationship between safety and agency. We’d already had four appointments before this visit. She always asked permission before touching me. Every time, she explained what she was doing … Continue reading
Posted in Healthcare
Tagged boundaries, communication, connection, dermatologist, healthcare, safety, The Patel Pause, trust
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Bystander Complicity: An IPNB View
From an Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) perspective, the nervous system operates relationally, meaning that safety, trust, and connection are deeply shaped by social environments and relationships. Bystanders who witness abuse but fail to intervene may experience internal conflicts between their own … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse
Tagged bystanders, cognitive dissonance, complicity, IPNB, moral values, safety, Stress
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Noticing Safety in the Small Moments We Overlook
Walking home from the community garden, I saw a young man coming toward me on my street. It was Independence Day weekend and there was a local event happening nearby, so there were more people around than usual, including people … Continue reading
Posted in Community
Tagged Community, connection, moment, Noticing, safety, stranger, support, well-being
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The Mental Illness industry: It Ain’t About Health or Care
The mental illness industry does not exist to heal people. It was largely built by Gilded Age industrialists to control the population, keep people functioning as workers, and pathologize suffering caused by systemic conditions. Instead of recognizing distress as a … Continue reading
Resilience Isn’t Solo: The Neurobiology of Support
A recent visit with a new healthcare practitioner had a significantly negative impact. She was so out of sorts that she could not appropriately connect. That meant she could not take in what I said or understand what I needed. … Continue reading
Posted in Neurobiology
Tagged attunement, Medicine, overwhelm, practitioner, resilience, support
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Medical Sabbaticals: Reducing Exposure as Harm Reduction in Healthcare
It’s awful to be disbelieved, unseen, minimized, and dismissed, particularly by the people we turn to for support and help. It’s also really bad for the nervous system. This is part of why I cut way back on seeing healthcare … Continue reading
Posted in Healthcare
Tagged harm reduction, healthcare, medical sabbatical, Medicine, Nervous System, practitioners, sabbatical, stress load
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Rest as a Missing Practice
Last week, I drove from Wilmington, DE to Baltimore, MD, a distance made challenging by multiple chronic pain conditions, including bodywide myalgia and quadrilateral Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. A fellow tall ship sailor, visiting from far away, had suggested we … Continue reading
Posted in Neurobiology
Tagged Alexander Technique, constructive rest, Imogen Ragone, rest, tall ships Sail 250
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