Category Archives: Relationships
Letter to a Now Former Friend
One of the hardest things about trauma recovery is the process of recognizing which relationships are mutual and supportive and letting go of those that are not. I’ve done this over the course of years, particularly with family members, most … Continue reading
Posted in Relationships
Tagged boundaries, connection, friends, friendship, no contact, relationship, safety
1 Comment
“Isn’t That How It Works?”
One of my doctors was telling me about his path into medicine. He attended a highly prestigious private school. He went on to say that there, he met a mentor who connected him with someone at Georgetown University. That relationship … Continue reading
Posted in Relationships
Tagged development, environment, mentors, network, opportunities, private school, privilege, stability, support
Leave a comment
Her Lips Were Moving But Her Advice Was Myopic
I met a woman in her eighties who talked at length about how healthy, fit, and good-looking she and her husband are. She described regular exercise, summers at the beach, her husband’s consistent swimming, and a long marriage in which … Continue reading
Posted in Relationships, Well-being
Tagged advice, assumptions, choice, health, misattunement, self-help
Leave a comment
Beyond Credentials: The Non-Negotiable Key to My Recovery
I had a years-long period when my functionality was so low that it was hard for me to leave the house. I was severely isolated by disability from repeated medical harm. My relationships with practitioners became my default primary social … Continue reading
Posted in Healthcare, Relationships
Tagged connection, doctors, Empathy, healthcare, IPNB, pain, pain medicine, pain specialist, practitioners, Relational Neuroscience, relationships, safety, well-being
Leave a comment
When the Body Sets the Pace: Trauma Integration Through Agency and Relationship
I had a remarkably powerful experience with my craniosacral practitioner after I had realized that my Moro Reflex flashbacks were also connected to the suffocation torture. It was the same posture–prone face up, arms wide, head back–and inability to breathe. … Continue reading
Posted in Relationships, Trauma
Tagged craniosacral, craniosacral practitioner, holding space, implicit memory, recovery, safety, torture, trauma recovery, witnessing
Leave a comment
When Your Partner Cannot or Refuses to Understand Trauma
One of the most destabilizing dynamics for a trauma-impacted nervous system is not the original harm. It is ongoing misattunement inside an intimate relationship. When a partner cannot or refuses to understand trauma, the problem is not a lack of … Continue reading
Rupture and Repair: How Breaks in Trust Can Be a Doorway to Something Better
Recently, I had a rupture repair session with one of my most trusted healthcare practitioners. About ten days before, we had a misattunement rupture when he dismissed what I said about my lived experience. I told him I was struggling, … Continue reading
Posted in Relationships
Tagged attunement, connection, Doctor, IPNB, practitioners, relationship, rupture, safety
Leave a comment