Author Archives: Shay Seaborne, CPTSD
What Every Sex Abuse Story Has in Common: The Patterns That Protect Predators
Here is a very short list of the most common denominators in sex abuse and trafficking stories, grounded in lived experience, trauma research, and systemic patterns: 1. Power imbalance. The abuser holds more social, economic, institutional, or physical power than … Continue reading
Trauma in a White Coat: Why Survivors Are Blamed and Predators Protected
The most dangerous predator is not the stranger in a dark alley, but the familiar one in a white coat, protected by institutional walls, bureaucratic scripts, and a system trained to look the other way. Medical institutions, licensing boards, and … Continue reading
“You Can’t Count on Anything”: The Birthday Dinner I Never Forgot
On my twenty-fifth birthday, my father took me out to dinner, just the two of us. That had never happened before. He insisted I order the Oysters Rockefeller. I had never had them. They were incredible. I remember sitting there … Continue reading
“Isn’t That How It Works?”
One of my doctors was telling me about his path into medicine. He attended a highly prestigious private school. He went on to say that there, he met a mentor who connected him with someone at Georgetown University. That relationship … Continue reading
“How Would You Like to Proceed?”: The Role of Agency in Safe Medicine
A recent visit to my dermatologist inspired me to write about the relationship between safety and agency. We’d already had four appointments before this visit. She always asked permission before touching me. Every time, she explained what she was doing … Continue reading
Bystander Complicity: An IPNB View
From an Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) perspective, the nervous system operates relationally, meaning that safety, trust, and connection are deeply shaped by social environments and relationships. Bystanders who witness abuse but fail to intervene may experience internal conflicts between their own … Continue reading
Noticing Safety in the Small Moments We Overlook
Walking home from the community garden, I saw a young man coming toward me on my street. It was Independence Day weekend and there was a local event happening nearby, so there were more people around than usual, including people … Continue reading
The Mental Illness industry: It Ain’t About Health or Care
The mental illness industry does not exist to heal people. It was largely built by Gilded Age industrialists to control the population, keep people functioning as workers, and pathologize suffering caused by systemic conditions. Instead of recognizing distress as a … Continue reading
Resilience Isn’t Solo: The Neurobiology of Support
A recent visit with a new healthcare practitioner had a significantly negative impact. She was so out of sorts that she could not appropriately connect. That meant she could not take in what I said or understand what I needed. … Continue reading
